There was a young man once healthy except for his donkey who had constipation
The young man tried everything to get the donkey to shit until one day he read an advertisement for a new doctor in town
This was exciting because he lived alone and the nearest city was a three-day donkey ride a distance his constipated companion could not travel
Following the instructions on the advertisement the young man made an appointment for the next day explaining to the gum-chewing desk attendant his interest in homeopathic gut remedies
Upon arriving and filling out the paperwork requiring him to divulge his bank information, family of origin, list of all the books he had ever read, driver’s license, social security information, and finally, medical history with full release authorization a male nurse appeared beckoning him from the lobby down a dimly lit hallway to the tidy Dr’s office looking out onto the parking lot of the Kwiquie Mart where he re-explained his interest in homeopathic gut remedies
The doctor who was understandably very busy servicing alone the entire village avoiding unnecessary movements like eye contact behind fogged spectacles far away surmising every detail both shared and unshared while calculating a precise medical formula designing a custom cure
No question was asked
Then after exactly 60 seconds the Dr’s pen began furiously moving across his pad for 92 seconds when he violently tore off the notes in the direction of the young man making eye contact and entering the room for the first time asking in the tone of a commandment do you want to be healed?
It was the young man who was far away now noticing the nondescript painting of a donkey up and to the left of the examination table braying in anguish due to the artist’s inability to include a straight line anywhere on his broken frame
Wordlessly removing the prescription from the Dr.’s outstretched hand the young man turned to leave with instructions to have it filled at the nearest pharmacy and schedule a follow-up in 10 business days
Remembering the nearest pharmacy was a 3-days ride from his very small village the young man was suddenly very hungry for his semi-famous donkey chili